(( [x] tHiRteEn's World_______

Saturday, July 31, 2004

basketball ; my life
10:32 PM

looked forward to this day, but it wasn't as gd as i expected.....
went out with this 3 classmates lor, supposingly trying to bring me togther with this ger lah....or i should say, know her better.Dun think it was successful bah...well...i guess i was too tired to talk or make a fool out of myself.
1/2 way through the outing, i got mood swing again.Haiz...just so sudden, and uncontrollable.I couldn't figure out the actual reason, but i guess i could be jealous,
or i was thinking abt the 4SE gang.Toking abt 4SE gang, i just ordered the jerseys!guess what?darren told me milton is not getting the jersey anymore cause he has no money.Seriously,i got pretty pissed off by his reason .Come on, it's for our friendship, not for someo strangers.What brothers forever....more like fuckers....

Thinking on the train home after i sent that ger home.....must a gurl and a guy be always be lovers and not friends?i did asked myself this some time ago, but i didn't think much into it....

topics which went thru my head today
-i missed bball~
-i missed 4SE days~
-i missed NCC days~
-the one whom i actually like now
-working hard for my results
-love commitments
-most guys are really &!&$$##!!^%^, what else could they do beside flirting?
-i can't stand gers who think dat they are at a higher class den other gers, and
they are damn chio.
-meaning of friendship.....

got to know myself better again....
i'm totally emotional....and i'm....easily jealous..and...i'm weak in maintaining relationships....but, i'm willing to sacrifice anything for friends/family for the sake of them....i can't understand why money is placed above relationships in many pple now....*sighz...the world is getting dimmer...

ask myself again .....am i the only one still waiting for the grp to come back...?~!!!

basketball ; my life
12:18 AM

Thursday, July 29, 2004

hehe....today...very happY~~haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!haPpI!!

dun know lah...so high today....out of control...

basketball ; my life
9:58 PM

Monday, July 26, 2004

things aren't going smoothly for me....not really used to poly life yet....maybe i can't get rid of my sec sch habits.....well...at least it's better since the start of poly...
^^...i have some cool classmates to make my day better!!

haiz....haven't really get down to serious studying....wasting lots of time doing unneccessary stuff...
thinking to give up bball for my fish hobby....which i'm not very sure abt this decison...

life..has ups and downs, but there are times which we need to give things up....including pple.....why pple?friends come and go....you might be missing him/her, but would they do the same to you?dun know why i'm thinking of such selfish logics....i'm never like this b4...
i once mentioned this to my friend....if i ever died one day, would he weep for me?well...he asked me not to ask such silly questions.....
the actual fact i want to know...how many friends i have will actually do dat?
i remembered how i lost Norwyn during April's Fool last yr...i cried days for him...
i'm still missing his smiles....the great times we had togther...he's a great friend!

and i also dream....playing on the bball court...with my best friends i could ever find thus far as a team, against other pple...showing great teamwork and trust....yet, this day has not come.....maybe i'm pondering upon something which would never happen...or everyone has left this dream,leaving me, the only one behind....

haha....from what i wrote here....i c myself as a emotional person.One who can't let go of things easily...and i tend to live with such burdens....you can say i'm naive too...

basketball ; my life
8:48 PM

Thursday, July 22, 2004

writing this straight after i reached home...............
something i must decide once and for all.....
i think i should leave the grp, and someone told me yesterday, "friends come and go "....which i find it very true.
I can't forget the memories dat the grp had, but i know i must forget this and carry on.
This is becoming a burden to me, not something which encourages me.It's just pulling me back...far too many times....
And, my classmates are pretty cool guys....tot they were just hi bye friends, but their characters are far much better den those in the grps....they give me the feel of respect, and the feeling which i have known them for yrs.....perhaps, i was fated to meet them for a purpose?....perhaps perhaps....life's full of surprises, isn't it?

i have a much different view on pple now....SERIOUSLY, looks dun matter at all to me now......it's the characters....
so pple may look normal or ugly...but they have very gd characters.....and they make gd friends...so dun judge a book by it's cover...
and singaporean gals....most of them are so materialistic...so difficult to find one who really likes you because of your characters , and not your money,looks...etc
still looking for the one..................maybe it's not time yet....

basketball ; my life
6:24 PM

Thursday, July 15, 2004

woOHooo....i found myself today man~~hahaha....so happy...the cheerful...bhb...and crappy Fm is bacK~~....
really enoying the company of my fellow classmates....khim hong,fadli,peng you,barry,tau yong..zhicheng....all so crappy like me one...nice friends...

basketball ; my life
9:36 PM

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

sad...depress....sianz....feeling so down since the start of sch...
everyone seems to be drifting away from me...practically...all my friends...
the gd friends i once knew, were like hi bye friends...........

i feel like punching each and every of them...to wake up... each of us isn't soft toys to others....dun treat me like dirt, i'm infact pretty weak down in my heart.i dun know how long i can endure with this..i'm going crazy.....it's just a matter of time...

can't believe it...i'm actually crying ....

basketball ; my life
9:05 PM

Monday, July 12, 2004

wahaha...just found out dat i'm really really shy infront of gers...and i meant it~~wah kaoz...i was so hum and dun dare to speak up....aiyoz...like dat how to survive in SP...
ok nevermind, tonight have a gd rest, tomorrow i go bonkers....
life's a stuggle, full of troubles...but life goes on..

basketball ; my life
7:58 PM

hmm...went out with my bro and his friends..went fish hunting...got myself a new strain "coral red" with metal genes...the female gave birth while on the way home~haha...i expected it, from my decade plus of experience...this is so easy to spot one~ btw, i only bought the female ...a pair is at $30, i bought the female at $15.haha...a way to save money, cause the female was hit by the male already, so in a way i dun need the male anymore.Then went pasir ris park to makan dinner, hmm...food there isn't expensive...quite tasty also..maybe next time i jio my friends go also...

and..from the way most of the guys in poly behave infront of gals, they are definitely so different when they are with their male friends.well, they have to act just to please the gals?~~for goddness sake, can't you guys ever wake up?can't you guys be yourself?at least i am...i dun give a damn how the gers look at me, i just want to be comfortable and be myself.I dun go around gers watching, spotting which are the pretty ones and then ask for their nos...i find it...so disgusting...is it the looks dat are so important?
for me,CHaracters come first man.I hate gers who think dat they are damn chio(when they are not) .....or those who are super teh...or super bhb..or those who uses profanities...joking around is fine, but not overboard...

basketball ; my life
1:33 AM

Saturday, July 10, 2004

erhmmz....it's a sat today...didn't do much today...woke up at 12pm...i was too tired after playing bball for hrs at SP.parts of my body were still aching when i woke up..but i went to PPCC to play bball(aGaIn)...saw 1 pro which i really admired...3 pt shooter who hardly miss...ya...dat's not all.HE can HANG like NOBODY's business...and fake away jump shots with like 80% accuracy...and it's from baseline~~damn pro...i really pei fu...
as for me, didn't do well lah....i had gd postures but lousy finish...only score a few...den meet some juniors from SAS...wah...they damn pro liao...maybe i long time never play~~damn tired...played like 4 hrs there today...

haiz...why i'm i still thinking of melissa?did i play bball there just to try my luck if i can meet her again?or i was always trying to meet her at the court again...hoping her shots would rebounced and hit my head again...

or the feeling for claudia is just a moment...i feel dat she's not the one for me...
confused....

basketball ; my life
9:13 PM

Friday, July 09, 2004

woohoo~~a week at poly...too many things to do, yet not enough time...
is time running out for me?perhaps it's everyone as we get older day by day.Making commitments towards relationships is probably the toughest thing i can ever handle.For friends, for family....it's never enough for me.If i'm given a wish,i just want some more time.
and...played bball from 2pm to 6pm...it was tiring yet satisfactory.FInally, i understand what the teachers have been preaching in sch...never never rest on your laurels.WHy?there's always someone better than you out there in this world.Always hone on your skills...
yeah....and...something i thought abt as i walked home from the mrt station.Although it was just a 5 mins walk, i found something we as humans should do.Always stretch out your helping hand to someone, even to someone you dun know.Yup, maybe dat's why i joined CSCC....to handle things in a calmer way, and learn to be observant and care for others.
It's high time for me study hard, coz i'm running out of time...

basketball ; my life
7:23 PM

second day of poly...pretty fun...i enjoyed most of the lessons except ITOS...it's abit com hardware and software...the teacher made it boring, but she's a nice lady...haha. breaks inbetween lessons.got to know this cute ger in my class, name is claudia i think...haha...but she's so cUtEE~~~heard her using some %^&%&^ to jerome outside lecture hall i think...but she said she didn't(???)...haha...i will try to know her better first...to me, character is more important den anything.

....muhahaha.....hey..this does not mean i'm forgetting melissa ok.... :X

and just stoned and think thru some stuff.......friends...who are they?for company?for laughters?or when we need help?well...i think they are more than dat...they know you inside out, and remind you when you making mistakes.When i mean understand you, they are predict your actions when handling matters.
and friends are like plants, they need water,sunlight and minerals.And we as friends, we give each other these.Sunlight is laughter, water is help/company and minerals are the silly and stupid things we do together.Plants without sunlight,water,minerals will withered in no time.THis happened to me and yongxiang recently.Perhaps it was time tken by his gf bah.I'm never gd in relationships, as i have made many plants withered in my life.Of course i regretted not spending more time with them....
well maintained plants would eventually bloomed with flowers...i hope i could make as many flowers bloom beside me....

basketball ; my life
7:21 PM

Sunday, July 04, 2004

hmm...nth much today too...went bballing with bendy,jerome and gang....but i'm pretty impress with myself...my shooting was so accurate...haha..what to do...shooter instinct....Opps..ibhb liao...den go eat lunch and go popular...after dat went home...

yeah~~made $120 today...from selling some guppies.Can cover my expenses yesterday when i went out with the 4SE Bballers...
quite fun lah...

basketball ; my life
10:18 PM

Friday, July 02, 2004

sighZ.....bday coming yet my bros are arguing...sad man....abt milton...haiz...
as they were toking abt him on msn...so much memories flashed back...like the days i fought with him...called him "curry mutton"..etc...haiz...dat was like 7 yrs ago...so long ago, yet it was just like yesterday...

basketball ; my life
10:20 PM

erhm....suddenly these thoughts came to my mind....abt friends in life.
Friends...i classified them in 2 grps.Casual and close.CLose are the ones whom you can be friends for the life time, always doing the little things for each other.Casual are just the ones you can hang out with when you are lonely.You dun really know how's the character of casual friends.But close friends(brothers), really understand you well.even though we bickers and have some misunderstandings, we are together again after we are cooled down.Well...one can make lots of friends, but a brother is for a lifetime,casual friends are just for a moment.

my bRothERs lisTS
1)bendy
2)tanghoe
3)alvin
4)enoch
5)zhicong

the one-->melisSa

basketball ; my life
9:57 PM

managed to experience poly life for the past few days....could feel that friends aren't easy to make.I mean friends dat are really going to be close.Casual friends are easy to make, but definitely not close ones.
back to business, played some games, listened to some talks..learned how to logged on to sch's webby...and bball everyday after sch...until 630pm~~woohoo...i'm so shagged for the past few days....haha...but enjoying...
sad thing is...i've been changed to class 03 to 02...haiz...missed the class man..

basketball ; my life
8:50 PM